It’s hard to quit smoking. You will literally go through the 7 stages of grief during your attempt to quit. Smoking is like a turbulent relationship that you just can’t quit or abusive lover you can’t escape. When you try to quit it, you feel this sense of disconnection from a once close confidant. I’ve tried many times to quit myself, and I go back to that abusive relationship every time. The whole process makes me feel completely hopeless, thus making my next effort seem like it’s doomed to fail. I’m tired of smoking and more so tired of quiting. If I could go back to my 15 year old self the first day I smoked a snipe from my mom’s ashtray, I would pull that thing out of my mouth, and say, “You foolish child! You need to love yourself more! You will spend the next 19 years of your life trying to quit!”
With that said, I realize I can’t go back and change things, so now I can move forward and figure out a way to tell myself (in the here and now) that I should love myself more and get out of this nasty relationship for good! I think realizing we cannot travel back in time to change things that have happened to us or things we did to ourselves or others is the first step in forgiving in order to let go. (Thank you Oprah)
Tonight, I took my son to Cold Stone, to sit down and talk with him about my plan to quit smoking. (I’d like to address that an ice cream cone SHOULD NOT cost $13 unless you get to eat it off Jennifer Aniston’s body…) Now, I took him out of the house to break him away from all distraction. He’s always encouraging me to quit, but only when he rarely sees me smoke. He knows I’ve had a tough time quiting, but hopefully he sees it as me not giving up on something that is important to me. I wanted to let him know to expect me to be a roller coaster of emotions for the next few months, and understand it’ll be worth enduring in the end. I told him I’m doing this to live longer and be a better role model for him when it comes to health. Having my child see me conquer this habit/addiction to nicotine will provide him an example he can use when he’s approached with a difficult challenge to overcome in his future.
A few years ago I switched over to the organic American Spirits. These particular cigarettes do not have any additives or chemicals that most smokers are just as addicted too as the tobacco/nicotine. I had a considerable amount of withdraw from switching over and realized how much I was addicted to the extra’s the tobacco companies put in cigarettes. I also smoke a lot less of American Spirits as compared to other name brands. I go through a pack of Spirits every 3-5 days. They smoke really slow and will go out if you don’t puff on them. I never smoke a cigarrette all the way through so it fit perfectly with me. I’ll take a few puffs and put it out and come back 45 minutes later. They are strictly tobacco/nicotine and I know there is no safe cigarette, but I think this is a better cigarette as compared to other mainstream brands.Or maybe it’s really like the crack version of cigarettes that some suggest.
I don’t smoke at work, around my son, or in my house. I only smoke in the car when my son isn’t with me.
After getting the news 6 months ago, my heart has a glich, I knew within the next year, I’d have to quit this bad medicine for good. Not only that, I’d have to get myself back into shape. This all was and still is somewhat overwhelming. I ended up buying P90X two months ago, and I’ve starred at it ever since I got it in the mail. I did try a few workouts, but didn’t hit it as aggressively as I should have. I might use it as a tool to help me quit but I think I won’t put more added pressure on me to try and conquer that beastly 3 month workout while in the approach of dropping addictive habits.
In the process of quiting it’s been said you have to identify the triggers that cause to you spark up. Some triggers we can’t prevent (stress from work, family, money, etc), but we can change how we react to them. So I need to learn to be proactive instead of reactive.
- Waking up
- Stressful situations: Homeschooling, dogs, arguments with family, work, money, etc
- After work cigarette
- After eating
- After brushing teeth
- Climax of good movie or show on T.V.
I’m sure there’s more but we’ll go with that list for now. Looking at these triggers I have to figure out what I can elimate and or make adjustments too and those I can’t but can change my reaction to.
I have to wake up eventually, and I know for a fact that if I wake up without smoking it makes it a lot easier to quit. Once I’ve smoked I have a hard time not smoking for the rest of the day. Coffee and wine is going to be a tough one because I will always associate coffee with cigarettes. I will have to find a temporary alternative for the first few weeks or months until I feel confident I can integrate them back into my life and divorce their association from smoking.
As I reach my quit date, I’ll have more solutions to dealing with these triggers. Which leads us to my QUIT DATE. I figured that if I started tappering off before my quit date, I’ll be able to handle it better. Here’s my four week plan leading up to my quit day:
- 5/18-5/24 4 cigarettes a day
- 5/25-5/30 3 cigarettes a day
- 5/31-6/7 2 cigarettes a day
- 6/8-6/14 1 cigarettes a day
June 15th- QUIT DAY
Maybe finally conquering this obstacle in my life will release a lot of guilt I carry for not being able to get around it before. I feel guilty for hurting myself, honestly. I can’t wait to be separated from that stiffing emotion. We’ll see where the next month takes me and any support or words of encouragement will always be welcomed! Maybe one day I’ll start up a rehab for smokers!
To be continued…